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February 21, 2005
Authenticity
In the past few weeks, three men I know or know of have killed themselves, each leaving behind a family. One was a minister.
It’s not hard to understand why people kill themselves. Who hasn’t been so awash in despair that there was almost no hope left that life would ever be better? If it weren’t for the sliver of hope to hang onto, there would be many more suicides.
The puzzling thing about these cases is that the men seemed to go about their business, fully functioning, with little warning that they had reached the end. In retrospect, there were hints of desperation that finally overcame their hope. But by and large, few people around them thought it would end this way.
Men seem to have limited capacity to show their vulnerabilities. They don’t want people to know they’e in pain, or that they’re overcome with disappointment. Why?
The way we were raised, no doubt. But I also think that sometimes we try, but we’re not adept at tugging at someone’s sleeve and saying, “You know, I’m really in a bad spot.”
I look back over my life and wonder if I’ve been able to discern when somoene has tugged at my sleeve, or have I been to busy or self-absorbed to realize it.
I want to be a more authentic person today. Not just a hypchondriac or a whiner. But I’d like to be open to the notion that if I’m feeling overcome with the cares of the world, I can say so. And I want to be an instrument of peace to the guy tugging in desperation at my sleeve.
Posted Feb 21 2005 @ 06:48 AM
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